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Episode 126
Episode 126 '''is an episode of the Drunken Peasants. This episode is noted for being the '''best episode of the Drunken Peasants. One which the Drunken Peasants will forever look back on as the high point in DP history, and wonder where their fame and fortune went as cynical grandpas with stupid beliefs. Videos Played # Poetry against Drugs (can't find) # IRS gives cannabis church tax-exempt status # NBC cuts ties with Donald Trump # Gender Identity Curriculum Angers Parents in Virginia # How To Reinstall Language To Become A Native Citizen Of Earth # The amazing atheist : atheism is a religion deal with the facts # 500+ at Gay Pride Party Burnt in Biblical-Scale Firestorm! TVC End-Tmes Report! # Gay Marriage Now Legal: Christians Get Ready! # Rainbows are Gay (can't find) Start of the Show They started the show with TJ jerking Canada's maple syrup covered dick by singing the Canadian national anthem. Their guest was Scotty Cena, their replacement for the total waste of humanity that is Scotty Kirk. After TJ trolled the shit out of everyone about Chipotle, they moved on to Troll or Not A Troll. The first one was some verbally monotonous faggot/soulless human claiming to be transcendent, but against mind altering substances. They brought on the "Shirt Guy", so TJ could give him an exhortation on "shirt pleasure". The first video they played was news coverage of a cannabis based church. Then, it was a news video about how NBC dropped Donald Trump before they went into news coverage of a new educational policy mandating the explanation homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgenderism in sex ed. Most of it was just some conservative simpleton explaining how "the liberals are done corrupting are children!". Shirt Guy went full screen after this, and we got a full view of his 70s porn mustache. Afterwards, they read some article with some random info on how a psychiatry institution is dealing with homosexuality. Next was the Weird Craigslist Ads segment. The first advertisement was some inchoate nonsense about Obama. The next ad was some right-wing loony toon talking about the secret scientific plot to create mass hysteria concerning global warming/climate change. Subsequently, they played a gTime Johnny video elucidating the rudimentary concepts of his philosophy yet again. Then they played some conservative radio bullshit in an audio format from Glenn Beck talking about how Obama supposedly showed favoritism towards the Muslim Brotherhood. They went on to start bitching about gay marriage and how Christian rights are purportedly being overrun by the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage. Expectedly, they utilized the ultimate validation of their beliefs as conservatives; black people who agree with them. Middle of The Show Ben left momentarily, so TJ had to deal with Shirt Guy alone for minute or two. Then, they shilled their stupid fucking t-shirts again. They went back to Glenn and his mental retardation again soon after talking about Shirt Guy's scrotum and leg hair. The show was downed by giant spiders and it took several minutes to reboot it. However, Ben was at least courteous enough to post an apology, so no problem. He also changed his name to Tony Hayward, just to ensure legitimacy. They moved onto Beck covering Donald Trump being a whiny cunt about him losing his TV shows because of his blatant bigotry against Mexican immigrants. During this they brought on Jean-François Gariépy to make up for the great void of personality left by the lack of Shirt Guy. He lasted about twenty seconds before his connection broke up. They moved onto a video from True Empiricism, one of the legendary Masters of Stupidity. J.F. briefly reconnected, but lost connection again almost immediately. They kept going with TE's total fucking nonsense, and tried to get J.F. on again one final time; they failed miserably. TE proceeded to position his sophistry around the definitions he presented and play his stupid ass semantics game. He presented his standard watchmaker baloney and fallacious, falsely predicated assertions and queries. His most hilarious false presupposition was that atheism constitutes an alternative belief. Mostly because it doesn't fit within in his claustrophobic, little ideological box. He even made demonstrable the fact that he totally cherry picks definitions, specifically so he can retarded-ly classify atheism and scientific consensus on things such as the Big Bang Theory as religious beliefs and fit his semantics game. The Vigilant Christian succeeded True Empiricism in the line up of general vapidity and insanity. He had his brother cover a supposed firestorm that killed over 500 people at what was allegedly a gay pride party. It turns out it was God trying to kill those fags. For some moronic reason, this is a message from that America's legalization of homosexuality will not be tolerated. It would appear that God turned off his targeting computer when he did this. That or Taiwan is inextricably linked to American sin. Just roll with it. Anita Fuentes took the crazy bullshit stage, explaining to the world how American Christians are now under severe persecution because men can sodomize the shit of each other while within the constraints of marriage (as if every conservative Christian fundamentalist ever hasn't already done a video or chat about that). She regaled us all with anecdotes of her nude oil wrestling matches with Gawd too. She delved into her utter intellectual bankruptcy as well by saying there was nothing to go back to after you're saved by Jesus. End of The Show Then they covered another right-wing shitbag kvetching over the new Supreme Court ruling. How riveting, hard to find, and cutting edge. All he really did was bitch about people using the rainbow overlay on their avatars because it supports gay pride and gays' newfound rights to marry in America. But, in reality, (his version, the most important one of all of course) it symbolizes your support for the government increasing its fascistic capabilities just so them faggots can sodomize each other. He generally just said that the Court going through with this ruling shows a new level of acceptance for government power. After having a semi-lengthy discourse concerning this, the Peasants ended the show and their pathetic, meaningless lives. Quotes * "I love Chipotle." - TJ being a white girl * "I feel like a mother." - TJ harassing viewers for likes. * "The DP Podcast forces people to look into the darkest recesses of their own souls." - TJ * "Barack Obama planned and executed 9/11." - TJ espousing top secret information * "God, she's the bravest bigot of them all!" - TJ * "I don't see why it's illegal to fuck kittens." - TJ * "I just want to marinate puppies in oil and set them on fire." - Ben, totally not out of context * "Anti-chat is code for anti-white." - TJ * " The Holy Spirit is holy." - Anita Fuentes * "Me and the Lord have been oil wrestling!" - TJ * "I am not interesting at all." - Shirt Guy Trivia *There will now be official DP vibrators and fleshlights. *They announced one of their first fleshlights would be a Glenn Beck one. *TJ is deeply fascinated with Bernie Sanders' brunch. *Josh Feuerstein is secretly a black female transgender news anchor. *Ben, TJ, and Scotty Cena are genders. *Scotty Cena was voted the best host ever. *This was a tremendous show, the greatest DP show ever even. * If Ted Cruz became trans, all of America would vote for him. * Canada and giant spiders are to blame for the technical difficulties during the show. * Jean-François Gariépy will be on the show soon. Category:Drunken Peasants Episodes Category:Episodes featuring Patreon Guests